"when it rains it pours"

Well this morning a grasshopper attacked me, so I'm pretty much winning.

People don't give Albuquerque enough credit. Sure, there's plenty of crime and the smell of weed is not uncommon. And I go into some situations fearing for my life, but it does have it's upsides. I've learned to love this place and find the beauty in the ordinary things.

This morning (Monday) we took a walk alongside the Rio Grande, our beautiful Brown River. This is where the grasshopper attacked me. Luckily, it missed my mouth by about a centimeter. God was on my side.

As with every week, there were ups and downs. If i'm being honest, I don't really know what I'm supposed to write about. At this point, the weeks are just a blur and I couldn't even tell my journal what went on.

One moment does stick out in my mind though. On Thursday, I had a "wake up, you're stupid moment." Me and Sister Larson had an argument about something of no significance and I lost my patience and temper. At this point, we've lived together for so long and have become like sisters, so we see the good, the bad, and the ugly in each other. Anyway, we didn't have time to solve the argument and we walked into a lesson.

We have this cute member who has struggled to keep up on her spiritual habits. We meet with her once a week. Her husband isn't a member, and he is always nice, but never wants anything to do with the gospel. However, we hadn't seen them in over a month because their lives got completely turned upside down with multiple serious health issues in the family.

When we walked into their home this week, something felt different. Her husband was sitting on the couch, and something in me made me feel that he wouldn't be leaving this time. We started talking and this member just cried to us. She talked about all the trials that had been piled upon her in the past month, and how she didn't understand why she just couldn't have a break. She feels completely abandoned by God, and angry with him.

She asked a question that I think so many have at one point in their lives. She looked at me, with almost a desperate look in her eyes, and said:

"I understand why God makes us go through hard things, but I just don't understand. Why is he letting so many things happen one after the other?"

I was honest, and told her that I don't know why. I don't know why her husband's health dramatically declined or why her sister had a stroke and why so much had to come at one time. But, I do know, that God knows. He has a plan, but accepting that plan can seem impossible when we are drowning.

When it rains, it pours.

I left that lesson a little down. I realized how hard life really is, and that I would eventually have to go through a lot of hard things.

I also left feeling like a total idiot for being so angry before the lesson at the most insignificant things. Something I've had to learn the hard way on my mission is letting go of pride. Saying sorry and admitting you're stupid isn't always the easiest thing to do. But I've also learned that with the Lord, we really can do hard things. Each time I've been wrong, he has helped me humble myself enough to let go, and move on.

To sum up: life is hard. And that's ok.

Although, I've come to the conclusion that because it's hard and seems downright impossible sometimes, that means we get to have faith in someone who and a plan that is, greater than we are. From this experience this week, I learned that at time, we have to go through the deepest trenches in order to become who God needs us to become. One of my favorite quotes talks about how God will shape our backs to bear the burdens we are given. He may not take them all away at once, but he allows those burdens because he loves us. He loves us enough to let us work through the hard things that will shape us to be heirs of his kingdom. Really, he is doing all this so he can bless us and give us the greatest joy possible:

Eternal life.

At the end of the day, we have to just keep on going. God has a plan and because of Jesus, that plan has already won. I can't really put into words how this makes me feel, but I can tell you that I know it's true.

Don't forget that Jesus loves you,

Sister Wallace

Pics:

1. Our fav missionary, Sister Attridge! She and her husband feed us a lot

2. Lol this trash can is funny. Abq for ya

3. My cute comp

4. Cute comp pt. 2

5. Sister Kraus! She makes us the best treats

6. The river

7. Our delicious lunch today