"Don't worry, be happy"

This week's title is inspired by my bestie. She told me this week she's been thinking about me and how she wants me to just be happy and how these lyrics kept coming to her mind. Well, I needed that advice, because I'm pretty much drained in every possible way right now, but I'm still here.

Ok so that may have been a bit dramatic.

But it kinda explains how I'm feeling and my lack of motivation to write this letter in the first place. But the show must go on.

I try not to think too often about how much time I've been here or how much time I have left, because it just makes me unhappy!! And that's no fun! But I do have to admit today that I recognize it's one of my "month marks," and to give you a hint, my next one will be a year as a missionary.

Which is absolutely nuts.

In true Lacey fashion, I've been pondering and reflecting and thinking about my mission. I look back at the type of missionary I was at the beginning, and I swear the difference is night and day. Like I was a fine missionary. I did what I was supposed to, and I loved the people like I thought I should.

But I think I'm different now. I care a whole lot more than I used to, and I think about these people a whole lot more than I used to. I want to do the right thing, because I want to help people and I want to make God proud.

At the beginning of my mission I just wanted to shovel dirt all day long. And of course that's still a wonderful service, but now I honestly just want to teach all day long!! I think I could've been a lot happier at the beginning of my mission if I had just realized the best part of being a missionary is teaching. But you live and you learn. And after nearly a year of being a missionary, I have learned a lot.

My mission has taught me that no matter what you're going through, whether it's the easy stuff, the hard stuff, the happy stuff, the sad stuff, you can learn something. There's always a lesson, and there's always a purpose, even when you can't see it or you don't understand it.

Nephi had no idea why the heck he was writing what would be compiled into the beginning of the Book of Mormon, but he went on anyway, realizing that God's purposes were higher than his. We need to find purpose, even when it isn't easy.

This wasn't the easiest week of my life, and it probably won't be the hardest. And that's ok. It's all in the Lord's hands, and he's got me. I'm just learning to trust Him along the way, and find joy while doing it.

But it's so hard sometimes.

As my wise companion told me last night as I cried over the hard - we need the hard to feel the good. We can't have life without it, and I'm learning to accept that.

Cause I have a feeling this life thing isn't going to get any easier.

But I know there will be so much joy in heaven. Even more than I can comprehend. And that makes this all so much more worth it.

I discovered this week that I'm more tired than I ever have been on my whole mission, and I realized it's because I'm working harder and loving harder than I ever have in my whole life. And that is a good thing. I'm grateful for a Savior who fills my life with hope! I don't know where I'd be without him, and I don't think I want to know.

Don't forget that Jesus loves you,

Sister Wallace

Pics:

1. Love our chocolate milk glasses

2. Finally played for the first time in months and it felt good

3. I think this one explains itself

4. Nighttime selfies